My Cat is Bigger Than Your Car

This is probably going to piss you off. I'm sorry. Also, I should preface this by saying I have never had a dog, and will never had a dog, mostly because the licking reminds me too much of my 7th grade boyfriend. Ew.

So. When I look at the way people treat their dogs and treat their children, sometimes I feel like an alien living in some strange place where I don't understand the customs. It's so fucking confusing to me. Like:

• Some parents have been arrested lately for using shock collars on their children. This is horrible, repugnant, and unbelievably abusive. But... why is it okay to use these on dogs? I mean... really. If you can't control your dog without resorting to using electic SHOCKS? Maybe you shouldn't have a dog? I'm just saying.
• I don't get why people shut their new babies up in a room all by themselves and then let their dogs sleep with them. (Or cats for that matter, anyway.) I don't get that. I'm lazy. When my kiddos were nursing, there was no fucking way in this lifetime or the next I was was going to get my ass out of bed 4 or 5 times a night to feed a newborn. My kids do now sleep in their own rooms, because they sleep better and longer for it, but I miss them sometimes. And so the cats will have to do for nighttime snuggles. Though they could quit walking on my fucking hair anytime now. HELLO.
• Food. I admit that my kids eat healthier because they are gluten intolerant than they probably would otherwise. I also admit that my kids eat burgers and fries at least once a week. But most people (myself included) would never consider feeding their pets this kind of garbage. But we feed it to our kids? (Pausing a moment to process my own guilt about this.)

Anyway, just some random ramblings for a Wednesday morning.