The First Day of School

I know that we did things a little differently. Other than grandparents, no babysitters, and even that, not that often. No daycare. Three meals a day, together, as a family, at the table. Every. Day. Everything that we do, we do together, as a family. And, to be honest, it wasn't easy. I know moms who eat lunch out while their kids are in daycare. I know parents who drop the kids off at Grandma’s while they buy their groceries. I know grandparents who take their grandchildren for weeks at a time. But, not only was that not really an option for us, that wasn’t the way we wanted to roll, as parents. We spend our time with our kids, because we love spending time with our kids. Not that we don’t love the occasional break, but isn’t that the beauty of having two parents?

But, today, is the downside. The first day of school. And to hear my daughter say that she will miss us, and specifically will miss her brother, while she is at school, is heartbreaking. That cord, that connection, is stretching and growing, and it hurts for all of us. And believe me, I considered never letting her go. Every bad news story about daycare, every school shooting, every story about a school bully or a mean teacher or not fitting in, I want to wrap her up in my arms and never, never let her go.

But today, we let go, just a little. And it was okay. She hid behind Dad’s legs a bit and so Dad set down her brother and said, “Maybe we’ll just leave D here.” And then E said to the teacher, “This is my brother D. He’s not old enough to go to school.” And Dad said good bye, and E hugged her teacher, and then Dad and D left. And I’ll pick her up, in just a few hours. Hours that will have passed, for her, quickly, I hope. But for me? It feels like forever.