Oh Say Can You See My Eyes
My husband has long hair. It's one of the first things that attracted me to him. Because the kind of guys that have long hair, well, they aren't very likely to vote Republican or make you serve ham-wrapped pickles to their buddies during the football game or hang paintings of deer, from the perspective of a rifle scope, on the wall. They may, however, have secret Ratt and Dokken tapes hidden in their stuff, they may read comic books, they may play D&D. And that's just dandy with me.
But when my son's hair started growing over his collar and over the tops of his ears, and down onto his forehead, I just could not abide. Mostly because his hair is made entirely out of corn silk. I mean, it's not like I want a junior member of Nelson on my hands. And for however H.O.T. Sebastian Bach was in his day, and however hil-fucking-larious he is on Gilmore Girls these days, long, thin, straight, blonde hair on a baby would just be creepy. No offense to anyone, though I honestly can't even picture such a thing.
And because we are buh-roke, as usual, I bought myself a trimmer. Y'all, I didn't even really know such a thing existed, but I saw those pictures of Britney Spears shaving her own head (Which, as an aside, what's the big damn deal? I mean, has no one ever seen For Keeps or Legends of the Fall or Steel Magnolias? Crisis = drastic hair cut. That's just how it is.) and I was like, hey, lookie, that looks easy.
So I made D sit on Husband's lap, in the kitchen, and I held the trimmer in one hand (It has a lion on it! See, fun!) and the instruction manual in the other. It might have helped if I'd ever even seen one in person before. Or not. So, I turned the thing on, and D whips his head around, thinking in his baby brain, "What the hell is that??? I must see it! And then I must eat it!" So I show it to him, but don't let him shove it into his mouth and lick it all over so his brain has not yet fully explored it and therefore he is DYING. I spent the next ten minutes chasing the back of his head around, buzzing here and there and panicking as chunks of beautiful blonde hair fell to the kitchen floor, and saying, "Oh GOD. Oh my GOD." Which is reassuring, I'm sure.
But, all in all, it turned out really well. I used the longest setting on the trimmer because I know they're getting desperate for soldiers in Iraq and I didn't want my 11-month-old confused with the slightly-older babies they are sending over there. (Ahem, sorry.) And it looks pretty nice, if I do say so myself.
But when my son's hair started growing over his collar and over the tops of his ears, and down onto his forehead, I just could not abide. Mostly because his hair is made entirely out of corn silk. I mean, it's not like I want a junior member of Nelson on my hands. And for however H.O.T. Sebastian Bach was in his day, and however hil-fucking-larious he is on Gilmore Girls these days, long, thin, straight, blonde hair on a baby would just be creepy. No offense to anyone, though I honestly can't even picture such a thing.
And because we are buh-roke, as usual, I bought myself a trimmer. Y'all, I didn't even really know such a thing existed, but I saw those pictures of Britney Spears shaving her own head (Which, as an aside, what's the big damn deal? I mean, has no one ever seen For Keeps or Legends of the Fall or Steel Magnolias? Crisis = drastic hair cut. That's just how it is.) and I was like, hey, lookie, that looks easy.
So I made D sit on Husband's lap, in the kitchen, and I held the trimmer in one hand (It has a lion on it! See, fun!) and the instruction manual in the other. It might have helped if I'd ever even seen one in person before. Or not. So, I turned the thing on, and D whips his head around, thinking in his baby brain, "What the hell is that??? I must see it! And then I must eat it!" So I show it to him, but don't let him shove it into his mouth and lick it all over so his brain has not yet fully explored it and therefore he is DYING. I spent the next ten minutes chasing the back of his head around, buzzing here and there and panicking as chunks of beautiful blonde hair fell to the kitchen floor, and saying, "Oh GOD. Oh my GOD." Which is reassuring, I'm sure.
But, all in all, it turned out really well. I used the longest setting on the trimmer because I know they're getting desperate for soldiers in Iraq and I didn't want my 11-month-old confused with the slightly-older babies they are sending over there. (Ahem, sorry.) And it looks pretty nice, if I do say so myself.
posted by Neno | 7:16 AM
4 Comments:
And that's another reason Ted Nugent defies nature.
I'm glad you had good luck with the trimmers! I had to start cutting my son's hair when he was 6 months old... I never could get the trimmers to cut it, his hair was so fine it just slipped through the attachment. Long hair on little boys bugs me (but not on men), so now I take him to a place that specializes in kid's haircuts. (Distract them with TV!)
Ah neno, you make me laugh. Any pictures of little neno sans hair?
You know, after Iain's first buzz cut, he became the devil child overnight. I thought it was just me, but Pat noticed it too. He lost his hellboy disposition as his hair grew back. So I just have to ask, have you noticed any change in little D's temperament since the haircut?
D was born quite, quite evil. But, in a happy way. Like, yes I am going to bite this power cord and then laugh as you freak out. So, no real change due to hair cut. But maybe we didn't cut enough off. Hmmm...
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