Accounting for the Stain on My Shirt Today
I am not an athletic person. Or a graceful person. Or a coordinated person. In fact, I am very, very clumsy. Extremely.
A few years ago (okay, it was like at least a decade ago), "they" decided to introduce the phenomenon known as the "wide-mouth" can. Remember how soda and beer cans used to have those little narrow openings? And now, they're all big and wide. Why? I guess so we drink them faster and then buy more? I don't know. Maybe people complained and were all like, "Damn, it takes too long to drink my soda. Make that hole bigger, yo." But I really doubt it.
The first time I ever tried the newly-designed can, the soda came pouring out of the can, all down my cheeks and onto my shirt and this is what my husband witnessed (and married me anyway), "What the... What the FUCK!? What is going ON WITH THIS CAN? Hell! Wha! Fu! Go! DA! Mother! Fu! Arrrgghhhhrgguggughalblahlaj!!!!!"
And then? I proceeded to do that every single time I drank a soda for the next ten years. Because I'm quick that way.
A few years ago (okay, it was like at least a decade ago), "they" decided to introduce the phenomenon known as the "wide-mouth" can. Remember how soda and beer cans used to have those little narrow openings? And now, they're all big and wide. Why? I guess so we drink them faster and then buy more? I don't know. Maybe people complained and were all like, "Damn, it takes too long to drink my soda. Make that hole bigger, yo." But I really doubt it.
The first time I ever tried the newly-designed can, the soda came pouring out of the can, all down my cheeks and onto my shirt and this is what my husband witnessed (and married me anyway), "What the... What the FUCK!? What is going ON WITH THIS CAN? Hell! Wha! Fu! Go! DA! Mother! Fu! Arrrgghhhhrgguggughalblahlaj!!!!!"
And then? I proceeded to do that every single time I drank a soda for the next ten years. Because I'm quick that way.
posted by Neno | 9:07 AM
2 Comments:
So, this is funny. It really is. But you know what's funnier? Having the chance to see the what makes it on to the Working Mama blog vs. what makes it on to the Secret Evil blog. That? Is *very* entertaining. You sure you aren't Eve or something?
This is so me. I own no white shirt that hasn't been defiled by coke or coffee. It's a gift.
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