Not to Name Names
When I got married, I tacked my husband's last name onto the end of my maiden name and called it good. People seem to be curious as to why I would do something like that, so, hey, I'll write a blog post about it.
It always irked me that my mom signed everything, "Mrs. Husband." I mean, where is she in that? For financial purposes, my mother didn't even get to keep her first name, let alone her last name. "That's the way it was done back then," she'd say to me. But, of course, that's no reason that anyone should do anything. And I didn't want to lose who I was. I was still me, even if I was married.
Additionally, I like my maiden name. It's a nice name. A name that people understand, and can spell, and can pronounce. Unlike my first name or my husband's last name. It's definitely not an issue of carrying on the family name, since neither of my kids have my name.
Most importantly, it says something about who I am. The way that bringing a doula with my to my childbirth gave the doctor and nurses a good idea of who I was and what I was looking for, having two last names gives people a heads-up as to what I'm about. They may misinterpret that, but that's okay. At least they stop and think before they call me Mrs. Husband.
It always irked me that my mom signed everything, "Mrs. Husband." I mean, where is she in that? For financial purposes, my mother didn't even get to keep her first name, let alone her last name. "That's the way it was done back then," she'd say to me. But, of course, that's no reason that anyone should do anything. And I didn't want to lose who I was. I was still me, even if I was married.
Additionally, I like my maiden name. It's a nice name. A name that people understand, and can spell, and can pronounce. Unlike my first name or my husband's last name. It's definitely not an issue of carrying on the family name, since neither of my kids have my name.
Most importantly, it says something about who I am. The way that bringing a doula with my to my childbirth gave the doctor and nurses a good idea of who I was and what I was looking for, having two last names gives people a heads-up as to what I'm about. They may misinterpret that, but that's okay. At least they stop and think before they call me Mrs. Husband.
posted by Neno | 8:40 AM
2 Comments:
I did the same thing. Though it was my husband with the easy to spell and easy to say name and my maiden name is the awkward one, I still kept it in the middle. No hyphen and I don't even use it for every day stuff. But I know it's there and for whatever reason that's important to me. Because Mrs. Husband is really NOT me at all.
I kept my name entirely and never took his. Partly because my name is my name. Partly maybe the circumstances of it all. My kids have my name as their third name and their Dad's name as their last name. I have wished that I did that the other way 'round... Alex used to get in trouble in grade school because she used my last name. :-)
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