Radical
I have an announcement to make: I am giving up pop, soda, soda-pop, Coke, etc.
Wait, let me start at the beginning. First of all, Husband decides, selfishly, that the kids would just LOVE pool party for their birthday(s). And I'm like, "But then I'd have to wear a swimsuit in front of people. Like, people that know me." And he's like, "Yeah, so?" And then I whined to my same-same, "Hey, isn't it crazy that he wants to have a pool party?" And she was like, "Um, no. That would be fun. Just wear a skirt or something, dumbass." (Okay, that's not literally what she said, but you get it.) Sigh.
And so, I have instituted a new plan of action. It's called Lose Ten Pounds in Eight Weeks, or LTPEW. Because, damn. Even the most generous person will say, in reference to baby weight "It took nine months to put it on, give yourself nine months to take it off." Well, shit, the kid's turning 10 months old this week. So, the time has come (the big fatass walrus said).
I'll be eating sensibly, drinking my water, taking a reasonable stab and working out again, and laying off the late-night sugar binges. But it's time to bring in the big guns. And in my case big guns = giving up the soda. I luuuuurve soda. Irrationally, of course, because I know that it doesn't really taste that great, it's full of calories, bad for the teeth, acidy, etc., etc., etc. But, you know how addiction goes. Or maybe you don't. Sure, I could switch to diet, caffeine-free, but really, does an alcoholic really want O'Doul's? I think not. So, good-bye Mountain Dew, good-bye Coke, good-bye Dr. Pepper.
And hello, coffee. Because, really, let's not get silly.
Wait, let me start at the beginning. First of all, Husband decides, selfishly, that the kids would just LOVE pool party for their birthday(s). And I'm like, "But then I'd have to wear a swimsuit in front of people. Like, people that know me." And he's like, "Yeah, so?" And then I whined to my same-same, "Hey, isn't it crazy that he wants to have a pool party?" And she was like, "Um, no. That would be fun. Just wear a skirt or something, dumbass." (Okay, that's not literally what she said, but you get it.) Sigh.
And so, I have instituted a new plan of action. It's called Lose Ten Pounds in Eight Weeks, or LTPEW. Because, damn. Even the most generous person will say, in reference to baby weight "It took nine months to put it on, give yourself nine months to take it off." Well, shit, the kid's turning 10 months old this week. So, the time has come (the big fatass walrus said).
I'll be eating sensibly, drinking my water, taking a reasonable stab and working out again, and laying off the late-night sugar binges. But it's time to bring in the big guns. And in my case big guns = giving up the soda. I luuuuurve soda. Irrationally, of course, because I know that it doesn't really taste that great, it's full of calories, bad for the teeth, acidy, etc., etc., etc. But, you know how addiction goes. Or maybe you don't. Sure, I could switch to diet, caffeine-free, but really, does an alcoholic really want O'Doul's? I think not. So, good-bye Mountain Dew, good-bye Coke, good-bye Dr. Pepper.
And hello, coffee. Because, really, let's not get silly.
posted by Neno | 8:45 AM
3 Comments:
I'm pulling for you, but I don't get the stabbing - let's not get crazy, though you may need to in a couple weeks.
Say it with me, "I am not a Walrus." Because you're not, you're cute and lovely and more than swimsuit worthy. Besides, people don't notice the Walrus when there is a giant humpback on land.
I'm with Jane on this, not even close to Walrus worthy.
Mmmm, coffee. But really, can't you become a Diet Cokehead like me? I actually dragged my sick ass out of bed yesterday to make a Diet Coke run. You get used to the stuff, believe me.
Also, what Jane said. You do not warrant your own Congressman, or even your own zip code. None of us are the sylphs we were in high school; that's the price of motherhood. Love your mommy self. They're worth it!
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