5 Things

1. Okay, does it not occur to anyone that Belle from Beauty and the Beast might, perhaps, be suffering from a mondo case of Stockholm syndrome? I'm just sayin'. Additionally, I think the beast was a lot hotter as a beast.

2. Okay, seriously, HOW does a letter get from Geppetto, who is in the belly of a whale, to the table at his old house for Pinocchio to find? How?

3. I bought new clothes this weekend that might be a) artistic or b) lame or c) completely unrealistic because I bought a dress! A dress! I don't know if y'all have ever been 10 months into breastfeeding, but I can only imagine a world where I can wear a dress, but that is a world I want to imagine, and so I spent money we don't have on a dress I can't wear. Great that.

4. Why is it that whenever I actually have a babysitter, I still have to deal with children? And other people's children are exactly 47% more annoying than my own children. And other parents? Well, they're just trying to kill me.

5. I have D-shaped bite marks all over my legs. He also broke the head off a statue. And tore several pages out of books. And used his evil teeth to scrape off the top layer of his board books. And tried to eat the light bulb from his sister's night light. Turned over a laundry basket, pushed it over to the baby gate, climbed on top of the laundry basket, and got one evil little leg over the baby gate before I caught him. And shoved a clamp into the VCR. My little angel.